if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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