There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
