Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this just has baby written all over it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize