i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She bit a glass in half.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
