TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
