This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
