she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
