Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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