NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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