I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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