p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
