Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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