Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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