Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
