The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
