I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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