Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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