i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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