How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize