do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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