Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
