is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
