Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize