So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize