My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
there is puke in my bra ... again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
