I love black thongs
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
