my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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