that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
