oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
