I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
