Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
