Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
