we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
