Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
