Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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