Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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