I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
