i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
