can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Houston, we have a blender
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
