Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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