Banned from zoo.
Again?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
