Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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