I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We're too hungover to prance.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
