What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's rum buckets o'clock
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize