woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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