I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Quick, to the slutcave!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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