Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize