is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he just fucked me for my cheese..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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