I want to make a zoo with you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is Oprah even human
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
