Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's shark week go big or go home
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
