i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
