I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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