In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
