I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Your cock deserves a montage
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
