Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
