I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize