I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
