I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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