Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize