people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
