I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sober January is a disaster.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
