Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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