Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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