There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
