physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
