I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
